Inspiring Tips for Self Love, from @bri.healthy
Speaking of self love, I was delighted to collaborate this month with my good friend Bri Blank Alexander of @bri.healthy for some fantastic self love tips below. You may have seen Bri most recently on the Today Show and People Magazine regarding her incredible 150 pound weight loss. Bri is full of beautiful wisdom and I know you're going to love what she has added to this month.
I've always been a huge fan of Valentine's Day, even when I'd never had a valentine before. It's not only because I love chocolate and the color pink, but I've always loved celebrating love. Love can take so many forms beyond a romantic relationship. It is present in family and friendships, in the things that bring you joy, and in the small things. But one of the most important forms of love that we often overlook is self-love.
Self-love is a buzzword these days, but for an important reason. In my own life, self-love has played an invaluable role in my growth and my happiness. I discovered my own self-love in an untraditional way: through my 150-pound weight loss journey. Having grown up obese, yet still having a supportive family and loving friends, I was always a happy girl. Despite my outward appearance, I always loved myself and felt comfortable in who I was.
Interestingly enough, only after my weight loss journey, when I became a healthy weight in a much smaller body, did I begin to experience body image insecurities. I starting comparing my body to other people who were my size, but who didn't undergo the same transformation that I did. I have many physical souvenirs from my journey: stretch marks, loose skin, a belly that hangs over a bit, amongst other beautiful imperfections, but for years, I did not find them beautiful.
I never truly addressed these insecurities, but instead, I modified my lifestyle to hide them. For example, I would avoid tight-fitting clothing to keep my tummy hidden. But after a while, I grew to be more confident, albeit never truly embracing those beautifully imperfect parts of me.
Years of weight maintenance later, I met my husband. I began to eat much more leniently, slowly shying away from my roots in my healthy lifestyle, and eating more like him. This included reintroducing less healthful foods like packaged cookies and fries, more takeout, and more treats. After a while, I realized that I had taken on 20 "happy relationship pounds". I was so upset with myself. How could I, Bri Healthy, gain some of the weight back? My whole life is my weight loss journey, or so I thought. I was looking at myself with disappointment, judgment and criticism. I starting using the same techniques I previously used to try and lose the weight back, but to no avail.
One day, I asked myself, "how did I do this successfully before?" The answer came to me instantly. When I began my original weight loss journey, I chose to do it from a place oflove for myself. When I had stepped on the scale and saw that I had weighed 306 pounds, I hadn't been upset at myself. Instead, I had decided that I wanted to live a healthier, longer life, and I wanted to do it for myself, not simply for my outward appearance. After realizing this, I decided to look at myself in a more positive, more loving way. I decided to prioritize self-love and I chose to be kind and supportive to myself. Guess what? The weight started to come off again.
I'm so grateful for that moment, as it pushed me to embark on a self-love journey that would forever change my life. I'm now a self-love advocate, in addition to being a wellness expert on TV and a social media influencer, as I love to share my learnings from my own journey to help change the lives of others for the better.
I believe that self-love is the most essential piece of any healthy lifestyle, any goal, any relationship, and anything at all. When we're playing on our own team instead of being our own harshest critic (who's heard that term before?), we can do absolutely anything and support ourselves the whole way through.
Here are some of my favorite simple tips to help you to grow deeper in your self-love, or to even begin a self-love journey for the first time:
Eliminate negative self talk. It's essential that we only speak positively about ourselves, as our subconscious is always listening, and it will believe what we say. When we say "I can't" or "I'm not good at (insert thing that you actually could be good at here)", we are only placing limits upon ourselves. A helpful way to improve this behavior is to neutralize the statements, instead of them being negative. Instead of saying "I'm not good at cooking," you can stop and correct yourself gently to say, "Cooking has been challenging for me in the past. But I know that if I practice, I can do it!" This simple shift can open you up endless possibilities! You can truly do ANYTHING!
Give yourself positive affirmations.You've probably heard about affirmations by now, as they're gaining popularity (thankfully!). This is the next advancement after step one to retrain your brain to have greater positive associations with yourself. My greatest tip for this is to look at yourself in the mirror right after you wake up and say, "I am beautiful. I am amazing." Even if you don't believe it at first, your subconscious is listening, and it will begin to believe it, even if you don't realize it!
Give yourself hugs! This one may sound super silly, but trust me: it works! Your body and your soul may have been waiting for this moment for so long. Go ahead and wrap your beautiful arms around your beautiful body and give yourself that physical love that we crave from others. YES- we can give that love to ourselves, and we deserve to! I hug myself all the time, especially to help myself feel better through the more challenging moments. I hug myself when I'm proud of myself, too! It's a beautiful tangible celebration of self-love!
These three super simple tips can help you to let go of any negative self-beliefs you may have taken on from our society's harsh conditioning. It's time for us to take the power back and to embrace how beautiful and amazing we truly are! We are all worthy of love, and it's such a beautiful gift to be able to give it to ourselves, and not expect it only from others.
You deserve to love yourself, beautiful, and I'm here for you the whole way! Please follow me on Instagram @bri.healthy where I share tons of self-love and health-love inspiration. I'd be so honored to connect with you and inspire you on your journey! Happy Valentine's Day, and remember, there's no love greater than the love you can give yourself!
Photo: @daphneyoureephotography
www.brihealthy.com